Desperate White Boy

The first of the five unreleased episodes!

Writing this, I kinda rediscovered why I continued making this thing in the first place. It’s so strange how something with such odd plots could entertain people so much. Maybe because it’s just something unique, not the same old stories you see every day where a girl falls in love with a boy but the boy never notices her. Instead, you all want to read stories about green haired monsters singing in Taco Bell. Whatever you read this for, I still wanna thank you for it. And I’m glad I get to share these for four more days.

After learning about Kyan’s loneliness, Zey decides to put him on a blind date with one of the hottest stars in music.

*at PWH Studios*
Minotaur – *kicks down door* I BROUGHT TACO BELL!
Janitor – Dude, why do you guys keep doing that?
Kyan – *grunts*
Minotaur – *walking over to couch* What’s wrong, Kyan?
Kyan – *grunts loudly*
Wolfgang – He’s been doing that ever since he’s gotten here.
Kyan – *grunts frustratedly*
Ryku – *takes burrito from bag* Yeah, no one knows what his problem is.
Kyan – *starts crying*
Zey – …
Ryku – …
Wolfgang – … This is awkward.
Minotaur – Is this because of Harry Styles? Are you having Harry feels? I told you to stay off of that directioner blog!
Ryku – I doubt it that’s the reason why, Mino.
Wolfgang – Ryku, he could be on to something. Maybe Kyan’s just lonely.
Zey – But how could he be lonely surrounded by such good friends?
Kyan – Because I can’t kiss you guys and cuddle you passionately.
Minotaur – Told you it was Harry feels.. WAIT, did you just talk?
Kyan – Wolfgang was right, *sniffs* I am pretty lonely. I was thinking the other day why I’m such a chick repellent.
Wolfgang – You’re not a chick repellent, Kyan. I think you’re pretty sexy.
Kyan – Your compliments don’t count, Wolf. I friendzoned you a long time ago.
Wolfgang – Well, dang. I’m leaving. *picks up leather jacket and heads for the exit*
Zey – I could set you up on a blind date, Kyan..
Kyan – But with who?
Zey – You’ll see.
*8:14, Linguinos*
Kyan – *sitting at a table wearing a tuxedo, bouquet in one hand* What’s taking so long? *sets down bouquet and picks up phone* She was supposed to be here 14 minutes ago.
Nicki Minaj – *sits down at table* Oooh, ladybug, you’re so cute! How old are you?
Kyan – Thanks and 17..
Nicki – You’re just a little lambchop! I can’t date you! *gets up to leave*
Kyan – *holds onto Nicki’s arm* PLEASE DON’T GO, I’M DESPERATE!
Nicki – *sighs, sits down*
Kyan – So, tell me about yourself.
Nicki – I’m a successful female rapper who likes to speak in a British voice from time to time and occasionally pick beefs with artists who were relevant in the 90’s.
Kyan – How interesting.
Nicki – How about you? Wait, can I guess?
Kyan – Go ahead.
Nicki – You’re an underaged white boy on some irrelevant online story series who cries every day about not having a girlfriend?
Kyan – Pretty much.
Waiter – Hello, may I take your order?
Kyan – Yes, can we both have salads please?
Waiter – Two salads coming right up. *leaves*
Kyan – *turns to Nicki* So..
Nicki – *death stares Kyan*
Kyan – Uh, is everything alright, Nicki?
Nicki – *british accent* You aren’t talking to Nicki anymore, darling. This is ROMAN.
Kyan – So, I’m on a date with a dude?
Nicki – HOW DARE YOU ORDER FOR ROMAN ZOLANSKI! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH MONEY I MAKE?
Kyan – That’s the point, I barely make any. And I thought you said on your TV show that you were on a diet?
Nicki – WHO CARES? MAYBE I WANTED SOME CHINESE FOOD OR SOME MEXICAN FOOD.
Kyan – This is an Italian restaurant..
Nicki – I knew this wasn’t a good idea. *gets up to leave*
Kyan – *tries to grab Nicki’s arm* WAIT-
Nicki – *smacks away Kyan’s hand* Don’t touch me, I’m famous. *walks off*
Kyan – *frowns, tear streams down eye*
Nicki – *turns around, goes back*
Kyan – *looks up at Nicki* You came back?
Nicki – Nah, I just forgot my bag. *grabs bag, turns around to leave* Deuces!
Kyan – *sighs*
Waiter – *comes to table and serves salads* Here’s your salads! Hey, what happened to that lady with artificial blonde hair?
Kyan – She left because I ordered for her.
Waiter – Did you tell her that it is Only Salads On The Menu day?
Kyan – …WHAT? *runs outside and looks around for Nicki*
Nicki – *walking up to limo*
Kyan – There she is! *runs up to her*
Bodyguard – *picks up Kyan and throws against wall* No way, jose.
*they get in car and drive off*
Kyan – *gets up* BUT IT’S – salad.. day. *sits down, grunts loudly*
poorkyan.

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About MT

Nothing other than a boy that listens to music and laughs at stupid things.

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