Reality Checked

The second of the Unreleased series!

This was definitely a creative episode. I was thinking of something unique to write about and SockLicker’s assistant came to mind. His assistant, Ryan, seems to do nothing except try to convince SL to stop watching SpongeBob reruns and actually save the PWH gang. But there’s not much to write about Ryan, so I added a personality to him. And some of his traits, I’m guilty to admit, I could kinda relate to. In fact, I tried to put a piece of me into every character I wrote about. Minotaur’s got the craziness, Ryku’s got the smarts, Kyan’s got the music loving (or is it book loving now?), Wolf’s got the parental-type figure thing going on and Zey’s got the – sarcasm I guess (except I didn’t even create him). Oh well, time for the show.

When Ryan’s indecency becomes too much to handle, SockLicker decides to call in a TV show who could help him.

*on SockLicker’s spaceship*
SockLicker – *eats cereal at table* Another day in the life of being me.
Ryan – *comes downstairs in underwear, yawning*
SockLicker – *looks at Ryan, covers eyes* CHILD, HAVE SOME DECENCY!
Ryan – I got all the decency – just not at seven in the morning. *sits at table and pours cereal in mouth*
SockLicker – You are one inappropriate assistant.
Ryan – I’m very helpful, Sock. You don’t think so?
SockLicker – I mean, you are. Just not the typical assistant.
Ryan – Is that because I’m basically in my underwear 12 hours a day?
SockLicker – Pretty much.
Ryan – Well, what do you want me to do about it?
SockLicker – I think I have just the idea. *gets out phonebook and dials number*
*a violent banging against on the door is heard*
SockLicker – Go open the door..
Ryan – But-
SockLicker – ..my dear assistant.
Ryan – *rolls eyes, gets up and opens door*
*a large camera crew comes in the doors, trampling Ryan*
Missy – *talking into microphone, looks down* Ryan, do you know why we are here?
Ryan – Not really, and I want you guys to leave.
Missy – You are on Reality Check!
Ryan – Wh-What’s that?
Missy – You haven’t heard? It’s the new MTV show were we go to people’s houses and give them a reality check which they desperately need.
Ryan – Why would I need a reality check?
Missy – Because you’re a hot mess, boo!
Ryan – Oh..
Missy – First off, you need to be checked on the proper attire for breakfast time. I am seeing way too much of you through them boxers that I probably shouldn’t my first time meeting you.
Ryan – *puts hands over boxers*
Missy – Second, why do you guys live in a spaceship in the first place? *snaps, everything poofs*
*in Minotaur’s mansion, everyone poofs in the middle of their living room*
Ryan – Wait, how did you-
Missy – You do not need to be asking all of them questions like that, little boy.
Ryan – I’m only 20!
Missy – Did anybody ask you what your age was?
Ryan – This is ridiculous! *turns to Sock* You’re just going to let this happen?
SockLicker – I think it’s funny. :P
Missy – Excuse me, did you see the way your ASSISTANT just talked to you. Maybe he needs to be checked on his work skills. Biting the hand who feeds you.
Ryan – He doesn’t even pay me!
Missy – Ain’t nobody care! That’s still your boss.
SockLicker – I pay you by living with me. I mean, who doesn’t want to live with me?
Ryan – ASDJFGNLSD;
Missy – You need to speak English.
Ryan – OH MY GOD.
Missy – First, your attitude is not a necessity. Second, do not use the lord’s name in such a manner. And what did I tell you about them clothes? Walking around like you’re the family pet or somethin’. *snaps*
Ryan – *suddenly wearing a tuxedo* Really?
Missy – And you need to do something about that hair. Looking like a brunette Miley Cyrus and I’m talking about WITH her haircut. Make-up artists, do your work.
*a crowd of make-up artists surround Ryan*
Ryan – *coughing*
*a make-up artist hands him a mirror*
Ryan – *takes and looks at his hair* Hey, I don’t look as bad as I thought I would.
Missy – You actually look cute. I just wanna eat you up.
Ryan – Yeah, I am pretty hot, aren’t I?
Missy – Your cockiness is way too obvious and that is not attractive. So, you’re going to have to stop right now.
Ryan – Sorry.. :(
Missy – You apologize too much! Be a man!
Minotaur – *walking down stairs naked, wipes eyes* Uh.. what are you all doing in my house?
Missy – Are you really walking downstairs with no clothes on?
Minotaur – Well, I didn’t really expect for a whole camera crew to be here..
Missy – You need to put on some clothes because that is very inappropriate. *snaps*
Minotaur – *suddenly wearing tuxedo* What the?
Missy – There, you look betta. And that hair color? You just look like you shop at Hot Topic. *looks into camera* No offense!
Ryan – You know what? Maybe someone should give YOU a reality check.
Missy – Excuse you?
Ryan – First off, you really have a lot of nerve telling people what and what not to do like you know who they are.
Missy – First off, I was paid to be here.
Ryan – Well you need to be paid to stop talking because I wasn’t finished. Who do you think you are judging people with the stank attitude you got?
Missy – I am not gonna be disrespected like this on live television. I’m out. Come on, crew.
*they all gather up and leave Mino’s house*
Missy – *peeks into door* And I was lying when I said you were cute. You just look like a recycled Justin Bieber wannabe. *closes door*
SockLicker – You know what this made me realize?
Ryan – That you’re horrible?
SockLicker – Yeah. I was wrong when I said you needed to get a reality check. None of us are perfect. And I’m glad to have an imperfect assistant in the first place. Why would I want some boring person praising me every five seconds? I think what I mean is that you’re perfectly imperfect.
Ryan – Yeah, you’re still horrible.
Minotaur – Did everyone forget how much Ryan turned into a sassy black woman when he told off that Missy chick though?
Ryan – Not every black woman is sassy..
SockLicker – But you’re the sassiest of them all, Ry. The sassiest of them all.
sassyblackwomanryan.

 

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About MT

Nothing other than a boy that listens to music and laughs at stupid things.

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