The third unreleased episode, dawg.
All of this is making me nostalgic. I went from posting on the PHF, to staying up all night writing crazy episodes with Slanted Fish, Zey and Star, to writing this solo, to collaborating with Codien, to being solo again, and to trying to post five episodes in forgiveness of not being able to finish a season. It’s so weird looking at old episodes of the PWH because it looked like, in all honesty, a kid with a permanent sugar high wrote it (I would say crackhead, but that’s nah). The grammar and all the smilies and the memes are just too much to handle. If you ever read PWH from start to finish one day, you’d definitely be like “DAAAANG MT’S WRITING GREW UP LIKE BAAAM” (if you’re a ratchet of course). Anyway, enough of this ranting.
After hearing Bradley singing in the shower, Wolfgang and Minotaur decide to audition him for a singing competition show.
*at Mino’s mansion, outside shower door*
Minotaur – *ear against door*
Wolfgang – *walks by, stops* Uh, what are you doing?
Minotaur – Hearing Bradley take a shower.
Wolfgang – Isn’t that sort of.. illegal or something?
Minotaur – Calm down, naggy. I’m just hearing him sing.
Wolfgang – Since when could Bradley sing?
Minotaur – Shh, *puts hand over her mouth* you’ll hear him.
Bradley – And IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII will alllllwaaays lovee yoooOOoOOuUuUUuUu
Minotaur – *looks at Wolf* Told you.
Wolfgang – *grabs Mino’s hand off mouth* He has the voice of an angel. Maybe he should try out for one of those singing competition shows with the record deal prize.
Minotaur – Like The Z Factor? Nah, Brad wouldn’t be able to beat any of those people. They have some mad talent.
Wolfgang – It’s worth a try.
Bradley – *opens door wearing robe* Uh, what are you guys doing?
Minotaur – Hearing you take a shower.
Bradley – Isn’t that illegal or something?
Wolfgang – No, we were hearing you sing! And we were thinking about auditioning you for one of those singing shows. You up for it?
Bradley – Aight, bruh. I’m up for all dat, y’know what I’m sayin’, yo.
Wolfgang – Stop.
*at the Z Factor auditions*
Bradley – *walks up on stage nervous*
Simon Cowell – And what is your name, little boy?
Bradley – Bradley .. B-Bradley Falcon.
LA Reid – Okay, Bradley B-BRADLEY Falcon, what would you like to sing for us today?
Bradley – I Will Always Love You.
Britney Spears – Ugh, we heard this song a million times!
Demi Lovato – But at least the last time he sang live wasn’t in 2003, unlike some blonde women in this room. Go ahead, Bradley.
Britney Spears – *death stares Demi*
Bradley – If I should stay, I would only be in your way…
Wolfgang – How’s he doing, Mino?
Minotaur – He’s doing great so far. I think we have this in the bag. >:D
Kyan – *appears out of nowhere with buckets of chicken in hands* Hey, y’all. I brought KFC.
Minotaur – *turns to Kyan* Do you really believe it is the right time for chicken when my son is singing for a record deal? *grabbing chicken leg out of bucket*
Ryku – *facepalms*
Bradley – AND IIiIIIiIIiIIIiiiIIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWaaAaaYZZZ LuOoUouVe Y oU oU U uu OOoooooooooOUUUUUUUOOUOUO
Britney – *makes disgusted face*
LA – Make it stop! Please D:
Simon – *flys arm up, music stops*
Bradley – *stops singing* Is there something wrong?
Simon – Other than your vocals, nothing really. I mean, you sounded like you were halfway through a seizure trying to hit those notes.
Bradley – Oh.
Zey – Did Simon just shade Bradley?
Minotaur – Hold up, I need to solve this. *pushes everyone out the way*
Simon – And you sounded like a blonde chick’s scream in a horror film..
Minotaur – WAIT ONE DANG SECOND!
Britney – And what will you be singing for us today?
Minotaur – I will be singing an original song called Shut Up I’m Not Auditioning.
Britney – *puts hand over earpiece* Producers are saying we didn’t get a beat for that.
Minotaur – What’s your problem, Simon? My son did his best, not for some reason as good as he was in the shower but..
Simon – Whoa, whoa, whoa. Please do not tell me you auditioned his son because he sings good in the shower.
*audience starts laughing*
Demi – *snickering*
Minotaur – What’s wrong with that?
LA – Sir, everyone could sing in the shower. Even Britney.
Britney – *death stares LA*
Minotaur – Er, how about if he just autotunes his voice?
Simon – It’s going to be 4 No’s.
Minotaur – Oh. *walking off with Bradley* Sorry, Bradley, I tried.
Bradley – This is why listening to your child in the shower is illegal.