The final episode of Unreleased, unfortunately. :(
I have to get something off of my chest. In the Summer, I turned into a directioner on my personal Twitter. I basically tweeted about wanting a Harry or Zayn follow and whatever and all of that. I only did that because all I followed at the time were directioners. But luckily, that horrid phase ended for me
and I’m back to Nicki Minaj. But now, they’re spreading like a wild fire. I can’t walk to class without seeing a girl with a 1D sweatshirt on. I can’t sit at lunch without someone singing ‘Little Things’. I can’t go on Instagram without something posting pictures fangirling over Niall. It became too much to handle. Then the impossible happened – Haylor, also known as the relationship between Harry Styles and Taylor Swift. Now, we know every dude and their cousin dated Taylor, but it made me realize how protective they are over their British boyfriends. And that’s the inspiration of this..
When Wolfgang signs a contract to be in a relationship with a boy from One Direction, she soon regrets it after his fans violently break into her house.
*in the middle of a park in LA*
Wolfgang – *sitting at a table* So how can you deal with all the fame?
Zayn Malik – What do you mean?
Wolfgang – You know, the screaming fans and all of that?
Zayn – Not sure. Our management takes care of that.
Wolfgang – Did you ever get to meet any of your idols growing up?
Zayn – Yeah, when management arranges plans.
Wolfgang – How do you figure out what to do next with your hair? It’s so heavenly.
Zayn – Management does all the planning.
Wolfgang – It seems like management basically runs your life..
Zayn – Pretty much.
Wolfgang – Oh.. well you’re still the cutest member in One Direction. ;)
Zayn – And you’re the cutest member in my direction. <3
Wolfgang – You’re so adorable.. I wish I could kiss you but this is supposed to be an interview for PWH..
*in Zayn’s earpiece*
Kiss her. Just do it and then go out.
*out Zayn’s earpiece*
Zayn – Come on, baby. Just one?
Wolfgang – Since you’re hot.. *kisses Zayn*
Zayn – *kisses, then slowly lets go* Do you want to like – do this on a regular?
Wolfgang – What do you mean? Are you saying you want to go out with me?
Zayn – *nods and bites lip*
Wolfgang – But what about Perrie?
Zayn – Our contract ended right before this interview.
Wolfgang – Contract?
Zayn – Yeeah.
Management – *puts contract on table with pen*
Zayn – Wanna sign it? Wanna make Wayn happen?
Wolfgang – I guess… *picks up pen*
*at Wolfgang’s mansion, living room*
Wolfgang – *eating popcorn* This is some very delicious popcorn.
*a rock smashes through the window*
Wolfgang – What the? *turns*
Directioner 1 – *in the window* HOW DARE YOU TAKE ZAYN AWAY FROM ME?!
Wolfgang – Hey, he’s my boyfriend. Go away, groupie.
Directioner 1 – Oh, I’m not the only groupie out here..
*a group of directioners rise from the ground*
Directioner 1 – LET’S GET RID OF THE GIRLFRIEND!
*directioners all have rocks in their hands*
Wolfgang – AAHHHHH! *runs upstairs, dialing Mino’s number*
*at Minotaur’s mansion, living room*
Minotaur – *on couch, eating chips* I think I forgot to pay my TV bill.
Minotaur – *picks up* Hello?
Wolfgang – *in closet blocked by bookcase in her room, whispers* Mino! Help!
Minotaur – Wolfie? Where are you?
Wolfgang – Getting attacked by Directioners..
Minotaur – Oh yeah.. I forgot about Wayn. Why don’t you get Zayn to protect you instead?
Wolfgang – Because his stupid management didn’t tell me that I was going to get assassinated by teenage girls!
Minotaur – Why should I go?
Wolfgang – Mino, all I’m saying is – if you don’t go, this will be the last time you hear me speak. I love you.. :c
*directioners move bookcase*
Directioner 1 – I’M HEARING IRREGULAR NOISES
Wolfgang – omfgpleasehelpithinktheyfoundmegOODBYE.
*call hangs up*
Minotaur – I gotta go save her. *disappears*
*in front of Wolfgang’s house*
Minotaur – *appears, sees directioners trying to break into her house* Get away from her, you freaks!
Directioner 2 – Oh yeah? Why should I? OLD MAAAN?
Minotaur – First of all, I’m like 18. Second, because that’s my girl.
Directioner 2 – MORE LIKE MY BOYFRIEND’S GIRL! GO AWAY!
Minotaur – *raises up hand, a mist of fire hovers over the palm* How about you?
*they immediately scatter*
Minotaur – *runs into house*
*upstairs in Wolf’s room*
Directioner 1 – That’s strange. Why was that bookcase blocking this closet?
Directioner 3 – Maybe because she thinks all her clothes are ugly?
Directioner 4 – Are you all stupid? *opens closet*
Wolfgang – *curled up, raises up head* ..Hi. c:
Directioner 1 – You know we’re gonna get rid of you, right?
Minotaur – More like I’m gonna get rid of you if you all don’t leave her alone.
Directioner 3 – You’re so old. Make sure not to break your hip first.
Minotaur – OH MY GOD I’M ONLY 18!
Wolfgang – MINOTAUR HELLO
Minotaur – Oh yeah. *picks up girls all at once and throws them out nearby window*
Wolfgang – Oh.. That’s all you had to do?
Minotaur – Pretty much.
Wolfgang – *runs up to Minotaur and hugs him* I don’t know what I was thinking when I made out with a guy with perfect hair, lots of money, good looks and nice clothing when I have a weird dude with green hair who will protect me. c:
Minotaur – Oh.. that’s – that’s very nice, Wolfie.
Wolfgang – And you know what? The only dude I’ll ever sign a contract to hook up with is you. Speaking of contracts, where’s Zayn at?
*at Zayn’s house, bathroom*
Zayn – *checks out self in mirror* Who’s sexy? You are! Who could sing? You are! Who has a scripted girlfriend? You do! Who’s the hottest in One Direction besides me? Me.
*Minotaur and Wolfgang teleport in the bathtub*
Zayn – *turns* AHH! Bro, who did your hair? And my girlfriend whose name I forgotten!
Wolfgang – Where’s the contract?
Zayn – *pulls it out of pocket*
Wolfgang – *swipes from him* Thanks, love. *tears up contract* Thanks, moron. *teleports back with Mino*
Zayn – But who will be my girlfriend? :c *thinks about Harry in a wig*
Directioners – *pops up from bathtub* US!! <33333
Zayn – Yo, I really gotta do something about that bathtub.
Thanks for reading the very last episode of Party with Hobos! I don’t want any of you guys to think that I regret this journey, because I don’t. I have the best readers anybody could ever ask for and thanks for standing by my side and being patient with the laziest person in the world. I also want to thank Yolanda for giving me the chance to showcase a little project I had. I wanna thank Zey and Flamez for helping build PWH. And last but not least, Codien. Despite our time differences, you always managed to try to keep PWH live and well and collaborate from time to time. So, thank you for reading whatever this was, to the old and new Hobos out there, I hope all is well in life and thank you so much for giving me the ability to write something crazy and for it to be perceived so well.